Now, its all over. CAT-2005 was given. The first impression out of the exam hall is that I WILL clear all the cut-offs and should be only ready to start appearing for GDs and PIs. I was happy.Thanked God for the miracle that it appeared so to me then. Had a sumptous lunch at my fav restaurant. Returned home and relaxed for a while, attended a marriage party in exultation. The calendar day changed, its 21st November now. Got dressed up pretty nice, came to office in elated mood. Discussed with a colleague how he did his CAT, having heard the rumoured cut-offs I felt even more confident that I'm IN. But later when I opened the IMS explanatory answers key and matched with my answers I did realize I fared decent in DI and English, but went for an unfortunate run in PS. I was toooo low than the sectional cut-off mark. "Damn it", was the spike response in that immediate moment. It seemed like a collapse. Collapse of several hopes I had for my professional life and more so for the hopes I had for my personal life. But was it really so???
When I sit back and try to analyse unbiasedly what is it that is awaiting as my Destiny, I noticed some interesting findings. First of all, I'm not 'enough' mature. I'm not mature enough to set my foot in an IIM. On the more subtle side I'm not mature enough to assume what my personal life in future should be. One other thing about the way I pursued this CAT prep is... though it ought to be a goal in itself I always viewed it as a sub-goal to achieve a different goal. And my experience now revealed that, unless you pursue any goal in its sovereign sense, you just can't achieve it. If you do work **to IMPRESS your boss with your excellent work** as the primary goal, you would never be as successful at work as when you do it with the true intention **to make your work 'excellent'** as the primary goal. This is the subtle understanding of life dynamics that I couldn't seep into my mind until today.
Clearly I learnt a lesson in fact more than one.
. "Focus on what is the more important at the hour".
. As you continue to follow above lesson, what waits your reach is what you get and understand that rest is all something you couldn't wish to have.