A lost battle.

I fought a one sided battle, as in there is no second side to fight the battle. It sure should sound queer. But this is how it goes. I took certain resolutions to myself that I'd prove myself before I make a major decision pertaining to my life. As a metric of proof I chose CAT exam. I created a illusory complex that whoever wins in this battle would be the one dictating the important terms pertaining to that major life decision. There is nobody out there who are trying to impose their will if I loose. The ball is always kept in my court only. I knew its just me in the battle. But still I saw it as a test to my own capabilities. To see if I was worth making that choice. Blame it on my abilities, level of maturity and/or God's will, I somehow couldn't make it in CAT-05. And obliging my conscience I should accept that I lost in this single side battle too. Having accepted the defeat, its good that I 'close the shop, stay away and remain silent'