A page from a successful lover's diary!
I always dreamt of whom I can choose as a life time partner. I came to know of a girl some 9 years ago and in the first five years I remained a silent observer of her conduct and increasingly began to feel that probably she is the one with that right mix of modesty, intelligence and traditional values that I was searching for. End of five years of silent observation I decided that if there is one person I’d put a tough fight for in my life then this must be her. This is the goal I set for myself – I must marry her!
But given my own complex criterion of choice, I made my own life miserable in trying to impress her as a suitable match. The journey was long, tough but in the end all so satisfying. I knew, given how traditional she is at her conduct, she won’t do a thing that her parents will not approve of. So I made all efforts to get into the good books of her parents while ensuring that I don’t appear desperate all at the same time (even if I hear a ‘NO’, there should be life beyond for me, isn’t it?). Having a more or less similar cultural background enabled me to assess what would be apt and what would not be apt to do when interacting with her or her parents in social settings. However, during several of the interactions I had with her parents I came to know the importance they are levying on the nature of qualification of a potential groom. With just an under graduate degree identical to the one she has I seemed not to be at any worth mention advantage in being considered seriously by her parents. This expedited the need to take a quantum jump into a reputed college’s MBA program. Nothing more convincing than an entry into IIM to convey my capabilities in her parent’s minds! In all earnest I mustered my abilities, attempted CAT and made it to IIMB (small clarification: An MBA from IIM also had several other personal reasons, this being one of the key catalyst reasons). Only post that achievement I dared to propose her.
While so much I endeavored to impress her parents, I had to equally keep her engaged till I came out with flying colors in my higher studies preparation. Since the path I chose was a long one, if she lost her patience any earlier and said a ‘Yes’ to any other marriage proposal at hand I’d have failed in my mission. At the same time I have to also put in tremendous efforts in gaining that individuality at my home to be allowed to choose my life partner as against the prevalent norm of parents deciding the match in the region I hail from. All in all after two and half years of diligent efforts I put together my act to propose and get an acceptance. But that is only half the efforts, a successful marriage of both of us meant bringing two heterogeneous families together. Mindsets are different, regional backdrops too are different while I hail from a village she is born and brought up in a metropolitan. I spent time to drill down the commonalities in values and beliefs that both the families hinged against and connect the customary traditional differences in a way both the families could comprehend. Add to all this, I had to do much of those things while continuing my hectic schedule at IIMB. It was a marathon effort of one and half more years for many of us involved, and as recently as this November all aspects were set in place and we both married each other. Not to mention that I had to fly in from my exchange university in Germany to marry and return back. As mentioned it was a tough trek all through, but the accomplishment in the end was worth every single calorie of effort.
But given my own complex criterion of choice, I made my own life miserable in trying to impress her as a suitable match. The journey was long, tough but in the end all so satisfying. I knew, given how traditional she is at her conduct, she won’t do a thing that her parents will not approve of. So I made all efforts to get into the good books of her parents while ensuring that I don’t appear desperate all at the same time (even if I hear a ‘NO’, there should be life beyond for me, isn’t it?). Having a more or less similar cultural background enabled me to assess what would be apt and what would not be apt to do when interacting with her or her parents in social settings. However, during several of the interactions I had with her parents I came to know the importance they are levying on the nature of qualification of a potential groom. With just an under graduate degree identical to the one she has I seemed not to be at any worth mention advantage in being considered seriously by her parents. This expedited the need to take a quantum jump into a reputed college’s MBA program. Nothing more convincing than an entry into IIM to convey my capabilities in her parent’s minds! In all earnest I mustered my abilities, attempted CAT and made it to IIMB (small clarification: An MBA from IIM also had several other personal reasons, this being one of the key catalyst reasons). Only post that achievement I dared to propose her.
While so much I endeavored to impress her parents, I had to equally keep her engaged till I came out with flying colors in my higher studies preparation. Since the path I chose was a long one, if she lost her patience any earlier and said a ‘Yes’ to any other marriage proposal at hand I’d have failed in my mission. At the same time I have to also put in tremendous efforts in gaining that individuality at my home to be allowed to choose my life partner as against the prevalent norm of parents deciding the match in the region I hail from. All in all after two and half years of diligent efforts I put together my act to propose and get an acceptance. But that is only half the efforts, a successful marriage of both of us meant bringing two heterogeneous families together. Mindsets are different, regional backdrops too are different while I hail from a village she is born and brought up in a metropolitan. I spent time to drill down the commonalities in values and beliefs that both the families hinged against and connect the customary traditional differences in a way both the families could comprehend. Add to all this, I had to do much of those things while continuing my hectic schedule at IIMB. It was a marathon effort of one and half more years for many of us involved, and as recently as this November all aspects were set in place and we both married each other. Not to mention that I had to fly in from my exchange university in Germany to marry and return back. As mentioned it was a tough trek all through, but the accomplishment in the end was worth every single calorie of effort.
posted by Jayachandra at 12:06 PM
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